MODERN FUNERAL POEMS
57 of our Modern Funeral Poems are incl. in our BOOK together with 80 Famous Funeral Poems.

A BRIEF MATTER

Life is
Short
But death
Takes
A heartbeat

Michael Ashby Poems

A COWBOY'S LAST RIDE

Put spurs on the foot of my coffin
Put my

 comfiest boots on my feet

Put my hat on to face the future down

Then ride out for my final meet

We'll take a last ride together

We'll get dust and tears in our eyes

We'll sleep out in the moonlight

And count our blessings under the skies


We'll share a last swig of whisky

We'll share the last beans from the pot

We'll sing round dying embers
Until my last ride has to stop


Michael Ashby Poems

A CRICKETER'S LAST BOUNDARY

Weeping willows formed an honour guard

For the cricket ball writ with a noble name 

A team of ten, which had once been eleven

Would never be the same side again

No bails united the forlorn stumps

Since this wicket had fallen some days ago

And as the bowler delivered to the lone                                                                                  batsman

The hushed crowd willed for a six to go

The magical sound... of leather on willow

The sweet smell... of freshly cut grass
A  

cricketer... crossing the last boundary

To a third innings that would forever last

Michael Ashby Poems

 

A GODDESS AWAITS

Her current recharges India
Her waters cleanse souls
All hail Mother Ganga
Welcome home, welcome home

Michael Ashby Poems

A LEAP OF FAITH

I was coming home
I was coming home to die
I was coming home to die
In my own bed
Although buoyed by this hope
I could feel my strength ebbing
As I struggled against the tide of life
That had finally turned against me
Suddenly, the world erupted
Into turbulence and confusion
I had reached the last hurdle
I would now have to overcome
With all the power remaining
In my mortal being
I leapt free from earths' pull
And soared through the air
I am McSalmon
Of the Salmonidae
I was home
I was home to die
I was home to die
In my own bed




Michael Ashby Poems  

Michael Ashby Poems

A LONG CUP OF TEADeath is too negative for me
So I'll be popping off
For a long cup of tea
Do splash out
On two bags in the pot
And for my god's sake
Keep the water hot
Please pick the biggest mug
You can find
Because size really does matter
At this time
I'll pass on the Lapsang
With that Souchong
And that stuff with bergamot
And stick with my favourite friend
You know the English breakfast blend
Breakfast! thanks for reminding me
There's just time before I fail
To stand on ceremony
(Two rashers of best smoked back
Should keep me smelling sweet

Up the smoke stack)
So, mother, put the kettle on for me
It's time, mother, for my long cup of tea
 

Michael Ashby Poems

  

AUSCHWITZ

Humanity is forever shamed

 By the horrors perpetrated here
For your sake remember Auschwitz's dead
Or the future will cost you dear

Michael Ashby Poems

 

A MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE

Death is guilty
Life is innocent
But death delivers
A life sentence

Michael Ashby Poems

BINGO!

My mum's playing Bingo in heaven
With a happy smile on her face
If she'd known there was a Bingo hall in         heaven
She'd have looked more forward to the place

Past 78 and heaven's gate
It's 83 and time for tea
With 61 and a baker's bun
And no queue for the lavatory

After 41 and time for fun
She's won with 54 and wiped the floor
I really do thank my lucky stars
My mum landed in heaven instead of on mars

Michael Ashby Poems

CALMER

Death, pain, hopelessness

Zen

M e d i t a t e

B r e a t h e

K a r m a 

E n l i g h t e n m e n t

P e a c e

Michael Ashby Poems

CHRIST THE REDEEMER

The grieving pilgrim

Prayed in the darkness. Jesus 

Shone out with his love

Michael Ashby Poems

CONDOR

To reach heaven on

A wing and a prayer, gods

Created condor

Michael Ashby Poems

CRUISING THE SUPERNOVA

The sailor cast off the mortal coil

As the voyage of a lifetime was hatched

And the astral yacht blew off the Beaufort scale

At a speed no lifeboat could match

 

With star boards current in every direction

And solar winds blowing sternly on the face

The sailor waved and bowed to mother earth

Before joining a round the universe race

 Michael Ashby Poems

 

DO NOT BE AFRAID

The Liffey drowned in Irish tears

Guinness heads rose sober and bowed

The Blarney stone kissed our noble poet farewell 

As the soil of Bellaghy stood welcoming and proud

 Michael Ashby Poems

In remembrance of Seamus Heaney, Poet 

EIFFEL'S TEARS

Eyefuls of tears

Paris's candle is put out

Freedoms flame will burn tomorrow

Of that, there is no doubt

Michael Ashby Poems

FORTIFYING THE SPIRITS

When the bell rings for last orders

Please don't panic or get vexed

It's simply time to sup this world's last drink

Before ordering your first in the next

It's always opening time in heaven

And the alcohol doesn't go to your head

 It floats around in one's ether

And fortifies your spirit instead

The dinosaur scratchings are slightly chewy

And the Martian wine's an unfriendly red

But not peeing in the night is pure delight

And leaves you longer to hang over your bed

 

Your angel's share is there to be asked for
Of the malt whisky escaped from oak casks
You can savour a peaty Macallan '46

For a drink that will forever last

 

"The Traveler's Rest" always welcomes departed drinkers

With a warm smile and a kindly nod

You'll never have to put your hand in your pocket again

Because this really is a free house, thank god

 
Michael Ashby Poems

FUNERALISSIMO

The musical notes stood in lines

Discordant in their grief

Before regaining their composure

As black tears in embossed relief

The instruments played this salutation

To a musician of note and much more

At the end, everyone stamped their feet 

Encore, Encore, Encore

 

 Michael Ashby Poems

GALAPAGOS

I'm back as a Galapagos tortoise

To dwell

Having fired my wrinkly

Human shell

I'm recycling my naturally

Adventurous spirit

With yet another Earthly

Planetary visit

Michael Ashby Poems

 

GAME, SET AND MATCH

I always dreamt of winning Wimbledon

And lifting the trophy on centre court

But the highest umpire has called me out

Sorry, but it's game, set and match, old sport


I'd love - 15 minutes more... to ace strawberries and cream

I'd love - 30 minutes more... to be served more champagne than I aught

I'd love - 40 minutes more... to rally with you all

Sorry, but it's game, set and match, old sport

Michael Ashby Poems


GHOSTS OF THE FALLEN

The ghosts of the fallen are all agreed
Something may be wrong with the warrior's creed
For a shot of death brings icy clarity
And deep, deep sadness to a new reality
Where there's no way forward and there's no way back
To life before the last bloody attack
Knowing families and friends lie waiting in their homes
To be shot through their heads with their telephones

At peace at last in the universe
About just one question the ghosts converse
To put to the ones whose orders were writ
Was the loss of our lives really worth it?

Michael Ashby Poems

GLASTONBURY

You're all on God's conveyor belt

You're heading for a fall

But heaven's got no gravity

So I'm dancing above you all

Work out what you want from life

And make your dreams come true

You could

Watch the sun rise on pyramids

Or set on Uluru

You could 

Walk on China's greatest wall

Or trek to Timbuktu

You could

Aim high upon the Eiffel tower


Or higher at Machu Picchu

You're all on God's conveyor belt

You're heading for a fall

But heaven's got no gravity

So I'm dancing above you all

Your music's singing in my soul

As I sway on the Tor above

But beyond all that I've said before

I just hope that you find love

Michael Ashby Poems

GOLDEN MOMENTS

My life has been a mirage
Built on shifting sands
And now my time of liquid gold
Has flowed from my hands

The precious seconds, minutes and hours
The priceless weeks, months and years
End in my new oasis
With welcoming forbears

Michael Ashby Poems

GOOD GOD

Do I

Believe in God

Does God

Believe in me

Although I am

Unsure about God

I am sure 

A good God

Would be sure 

About me

Michael Ashby Poems

GRANDPA'S LOST HIS GR

My grandpa has lost his gr

And gone to 'andpa land

It's where all the tired 'andpas go

When they depart the family band

So now whenever I'm hurt

Or my troubles are too much for me

  
I remember sitting up on my grandpa's knee

Safe within his grandpa zone

All in a little world of our own

With wisdom, patience, humour and guile

There's nothing that couldn't be sorted by grandpa's smile

 

Boys will be boys

And men will be men

But only the best of them

End up as grandpas in the end

 

If you ever hear the roar of thunder

  
Late at night

Don't hide under your duvet

  
Out of sight

Someone's just left open

  
The 'andpa land door

And boy

  
Oh boy

A herd of 'andpas

  
Can't half snore

 

Michael Ashby Poems

HEAVEN ON EARTH

I was passing through Utopia

On my way to Nirvana

When I saw a sign

Pointing back to Heaven


Where I'd been, all along

Michael Ashby Poems

HOOK, LINE AND SINKER

As I sat upon a rock
With the waters breaking around me
I pondered matters of life and death
A-fishing by the sea

I was waiting for the tide to come in
Which would drown others in despair
So let me reassure you now
How much I've enjoyed being a being here

I know you know I'm still spinning lines
To help you on land at this time
Please swallow them hook, line and sinker
Because you're the real catch of me the fisher

Michael Ashby Poems
                    

IN THE LINE OF DUTYIn the fight between good and evilSometimes a sacrifice is madeIn the line of dutySometimes a life is laidDownForeverIn the hearts of the thinner blue lineTo protect and serve the publicThe life, just given, was mine Michael Ashby Poems  

I AM NOT GONE

I am not gone
      While you cry with me
I am not gone
     While you smile with me
I am not gone
     While you remember with me

I will come
    When you call my name
I will come
    When I feel your pain 
I will come
    On your final day

It could never be
    That we
          Would never be

We shall always
     Be together
         Forever

I am not gone

Michael Ashby Poems

I WANT TO BE BURIED WITH MY MOBILE PHONE

I want to be buried with my mobile phone
So I can ring in the changes at my new home
With central heating and a marble en-suite
And lots of thermal socks for my poor cold  feet
I'll be able to give in to a takeaway
And watch favourite movies on a rainy day
And if I'm feeling a bit under the weather
I'll talk to you until I begin to feel better

I've got party hats, fairy cakes and songs to sing
In case somebody should chance to drop in
Which is much more likely than you'd think
As my coffin roof is on the blink

I'll be leaving you now as I've got a waiting call
It's from my new friend over by the

cemetery wall
I watched the service yesterday through my periscope
They buried him with his mobile, their little joke
But he'll have the last laugh, when his bill drops through their door
Fourteen hundred and forty minutes a day, for eternity and evermore


Michael Ashby Poems

 

JUST IN CASE

I wonder if
My atheist friend
Risked a quick prayer
Right at the end
Just in case
He was wrong
After all
About what would happen
After his last
Curtain call
Finally realizing
That I might
Just be right
And that he
Wasn't alone
On his longest night

Michael Ashby Poems

LIFE AND DEATH AND LIFE

Dying leaf kisses
Bark of crying tree, farewell
Sweet blossom for now

Michael Ashby Poems

 

LIFE GOES ON

I want fireworks at my funeral
To brighten up your eyes
I want clowns at my funeral
To return all your smiles

I want dancing at my funeral
To help you move along
I want a party at my funeral
Filled with your happy throng

So, party, party, party
And cheer my spirit with song
As my last wish is you celebrate
That LIFE GOES ON

Michael Ashby Poems

 

LIFE SCULPTURE

When god poured me
From his perfect mould
He forgot to tell me
That I would grow old
My skin would wrinkle
My hair would turn grey
And that even my sweet tooth 
Would decay

Dear god please
Take pity on me
And recast me in
Your foundry
A magnificent bronze
As smooth as can be
No lines. no grey
Just perfect immortality

Michael Ashby Poems

MADIBA (Nelson Mandela) AND THE LION

The lion sprang up the staircase on fire

As the African night began to die

A neon hospital sign flickered a warning

Before failing against a bloody dawn sky

The champion warrior shed his gown

And held firm the proffered mane in his hands

With a roar that would shake the entire world

They leapt as one for heavenly lands

Michael Ashby Poems

MAYA ANGELOU

True poets never die

Their body of work

Breathes through

Their touching words

Forever

Michael Ashby Poems

MILKING THE MOMENTS

We only have today
In fact, we only have now
It's such a chilling thought
I'm so glad I'm not a cow

My insides would churn
And turn into ice cream
I would be the biggest milkshake
That the world had ever seen

We only have today
In fact, we only have now
I'm so glad I milked my moments
But I'm even gladder I wasn't a cow

Michael Ashby Poems

MY ECO DEATH

I was lying naked.... in a woodland glade

(The hedgehog ball heard its last foxtrot)

Covered by branches.... of modest shade

(The nightingale blew out her candle)

On a bed of.... the softest moss

(The owl closed a squeaking dormouse)

Beneath a leafy blanket.... sharing my loss

(The queen bee was stung, by the sweet kiss of death)

Time to reflect.... after time to dwell

Surrounded by nature's.... dingly dell

 

My monitor's alarm.... the air did shell

And nurses rushed in.... to cancel the bell

An angelic smile.... a machine's last pips

A sigh of contentment.... escaping my lips

 

Peace.... Oh blessed peace

Peace.... at last

Michael Ashby Poems


MY LAST ASSEMBLY

If this life has taught me anything

It's that I've been a student all my days

Learning from each interaction

Along the scholastic way

 

Now a place in the open universe awaits, and

The answer to the last question of the exam hall

Are my views on Religious Education

Still worth anything at all

 

So farewell to you and my verbosity

I now end with one of Charles Eliot's jots

'A good teacher is like eternity

He/She never knows where his/her influence stops'

 

Michael Ashby Poems

MY LIGHT WILL SHINE FOREVER

Synapses, lightening forks

Neural nets cast aglow

My being is no longer earthed

As across space I flow

 

Eternally charged with immortal life

I feel the pull of people past

My light will shine forever

And for you will everlast

 

Michael Ashby Poems

MY MUM

Where did it go?
My mother once asked
As the clock tick-tocked
And her life flew past
In the race against time
She led for most of the way
But the track was endless
Unlike her last day
(Take care of your father
Promise you will
As she passed on the baton
She would never spill)
So polish the stars
And fire up the sun
And put out some slippers
To welcome my mum
Find a new galaxy
And light up her name
Because life on planet Earth
Just won't be the same

Michael Ashby Poems

OLD AGE ISN'T FOR WIMPS

It's a lonely fight 

In the middle of the night

With the temperature falling

And old pains calling

Pains in the body

Pains in the soul

Old age sometimes

Can be a living hell

Michael Ashby Poems

ONE LAST FLUTTER

I've always gone with the roll of the dice
But now my numbers up
And since I'm the one down below
There must be six up top

I always knew the odds were against me
So it's time for one last flutter and sin
I'm going to bet on heaven not hell
God knows if I'll end with a win

Michael Ashby Poems

PUT OUT TO SEED AGAIN

It's my turn now to be planted

Put out to seed again

While the fruits of my earthly labours

Flourish in the sun and rain

 

It's a wonderful day to be planted 

In rich, deep loamy soil

A natural bed, for a tired gardener's head

With green fingered hands of toil

 

Please plant a tree or bush for me

To celebrate a gardener's life ways

I strove to enrich the world with beauty

Over many, many gardening days

 

Michael Ashby Poems

 

RAINBOWS ON THE MOON

There are rainbows on the moon
There are clouds in outer space
The night has started mourning
Since I passed away too soon

There are rainbows on the moon
There are colours crying in tiers
The solar wind is wailing
Since I passed away too soon

I shine with the Northern Lights
I shine with the waning moon
I shine with the shooting stars
Since I passed away too soon

Now one zillion candles
Are shining all around me
One zillion and one candles
For my life on earth to see

Michael Ashby Poems

SLEEPING 'AU NATUREL'

When there are more days behind you

Than those that lie ahead

Now really isn't the time

To be a-lying long in one's bed

So, kick off the covers

Go on, you I dare

Throw open the windows

And drink in deep of the fresh air

But if you sleep 'au naturel'

Please do take a care

Lest your neighbour has a weak heart

And a proclivity to stare

Michael Ashby Poems

SOUSSE BEACH

It could have been me
It could have been you
That perished in Sousse
From shots out of the blue

The randomness of this tragedy
Near takes one's breath away
And unites us all in grieving 
On this memorial day

We salute selfless samaritans
Who saved and comforted in the fray
And will always remember the fallen
Who on Sousse beach together lay

Michael Ashby Poems

SUICIDE CLIFF

Mad words, bad words

Fled, sped through brain

Brewing up a mental storm

Sowing, growing again

Poking, stoking a last lightening bolt

Exploding a chamber, in an unsound colt

Raining, draining

Words, energy all around

As the skeleton smiled sweetly

At the closing ground

 

Faster, faster 

The dancing man swirled

Twirling balletically

For the ghoulish world

Shouting, pouting

At the spinning mop top

Bloody hell! he's jumped

It's a hell of a drop

 

Floating above gloating

He soared as they roared

Losing a mind's pain

From an Earthling's brain

Flying with yellow beaked angels

Hang gliding into new birth

Gravity racing, sand embracing

To kiss the advances of the surf

Sun bleached bones, caressing cockles

Massaging mussels, in salty, sparkling wine

Distant dreams of becoming a fossil

An exhibit  from a happier time

 

And the rain fell to dwell

On the bloody pulp of hell

Down, down, down on the ground

Once so perfect, once so round

Now so flat, now so still

The crowd gasped its last

As the night swallowed its beach-kill

 

But, there would be no fluttering police tape today

To keep the rubber necked back from the affray

No black holed, black glazed, spooky van

No undertaker's magic on an invisible man

No sunken faced lifeboat crew

No coastguard van bedecked in blue

No unemployed ambulance man

No helicopter scything sea air, with its fan

 

For a lady up on the cliff path

Had saved the dying day

A lone lady up on the cliff path

Fleetingly smiled his way

Bringing warmth through stubble

To anchor human rubble

In safe harbour for now

No, no, no cliff top prow

 

Back crossing the seafront road a picture stared

Knees buckled, as his old soul was bared

Missing person - have you seen this man?

Oh, dear God, how he missed that man

Hooting, tooting, people shouting in vain

Ambulance man's arm, cranking up the merry-go-round, again 

Michael Ashby Poems

SUN ARISE

God woke his sun
For me this morning
Just for me
Just for me
And set about
The sea awarming
Just to see
Just to see
How he, me
His sun and the sea
Could just be
Could just be
How he, me
His sun and the sea
Could just be

Michael Ashby Poems

SWAN SONG

The swan silently 
Crossed the river 
No reflection, no ripple 
In her wake 
Lit by a moving sunbeam 
She crossed the water 
Just, for my sake 

I sat down aboard her back 
As her head turned to me 
And she looked deeply into my eyes, asking 
Are you really, really, ready 
I nodded, as tears rained, from my face 
To join countless others in their river 

The swan started swimming, 
And slowly singing 
The most beautiful music 
I had ever heard in my life 
And then the swan 
Suddenly changed, from black, 
Into a dazzling white

And I stopped crying, and started smiling 
As together, we crossed over 
Into the most brilliant of light

Michael Ashby Poems

 

TEARS IN MY HEART

All the tears in my heart

Will only dry when I die

When new tears of happiness

Are reborn in all our eyes

 

Michael Ashby Poems

THE CLUTHA VAULTS


It could have been me

It could have been you

That perished in Glasgow

Under a bolt from the blue

 

The randomness of this tragedy

Near takes one's breath away

And unites us all in grieving

On this memorial day

 

We salute selfless fighters

Who battled to save from the fray

And will always remember the fallen

 

 
Who in The Clutha Vaults together lay

 

 

Michael Ashby Poems

THE GOLF COURSE IN THE SKY

As eighteen flags flew at half mast, and

Glasses were soberly raised high

The latest member was having a ball

At the golf course in the sky

 

Freed from the gravity of the situation

The first tee shot soared through space

Bringing a wondrous, beaming smile

To a kind, down to earth face

 

Surrounded by old club friends

Once thought never to be seen again

The infinity course beckoned ahead

Eighteen holes were for mere mortal men

Michael Ashby Poems

THE PASSING OF A FOOTBALLER

Football's a match made in heaven

Which is fan-tastic news for me

And heaven's a level playing field

Where anyone can kick off for free

 

The referee needs no introduction

Or whistle for a foul blow

When God raises his eyebrows

None argue with the penalty or throw

 

The transfer window never closes

As new  players arrive all the time

There's always a top team to play on

As for the kit, I just wish I'd brought mine

 

We kick off side by side in a minute

Cheered by old family, teammates and friends

Football's really a blast in heaven

After your first whistle the matches never end

 

Michael Ashby Poems

THE RUGBY PLAYER'S LAST TRY

The rugby ball inside the coffin

Rather gave the the game away

As a diehard rugby warrier

Determined to play on in future days

 

Believing there was more than one H in heaven

At the ends of astral turf grounds

And that the rugby universe cup

Was still in its early rounds

 

After a lifetime that had seemed eighty minutes

With a body clock now in the red

The gladiator scored his last mortal try

Touching his head down on mother earth's bed

 

 

Michael Ashby Poems

TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES

True love lay within

Beating Taj Mahal hearts; stilled

Their love warms the world

Michael Ashby Poems

WE ARE NOT GONE

We are not gone
         While you cry with us
We are not gone
         While you smile with us
We are not gone
         While you remember with us

We will come
         When you call our names
We will come
         When we feel your pain
We will come
        On your final day

It could never be
        That we
            Would never be

We shall always
       Be together
           Forever

We are not gone

Michael Ashby Poems

YOUR GREATEST TEST

Until the question..... is asked of you

Your answer..... is unknown

And for your longest..... days and nights

You will feel.....  so, so alone

But with your.....  indomitable lifeforce

And your subconscious..... will to survive

You will

You will pass..... your greatest test

And feel yourself slowly come alive

Michael Ashby Poems

888,246

Carefully the elephant crossed the room

Carpetted with 888,246 poppies

Not one poppy was hurt

A poppy is never forgotten


Michael Ashby Poems

(Link: Blood Swept Lands and Seas of Red at The Tower Of London.)

 

Mobilize your Site
View Site in Mobile | Classic
Share by: